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(Unseen by the audience NUTJOB holds the other end of the rope enabling a little to and fro movement with HAYWIRE. The rope is then allowed to rest on the floor.)
AUDIENCE
(A mix of gasps and giggles, and some louder laughter as it dawns on the audience that this is melodrama. Whilst they focus on the chaos, discretely GORDON BENNETT walks off stage right.)
NUTJOB
(Loudly, whilst offstage left.)
Pull harder!
HAYWIRE
(Loud, agitated, addressing NUTJOB who is out of sight.)
I’m trying! It won’t budge!
BALDMAN
(Wearing the familiar costume from the bathtub regatta, BALDMAN enters stage right. The character with the fake bald head and a stupid, old fashioned, green sleeveless sweater is recognised by many in the audience. BALDMAN walks to centre stage. Pauses. With a puzzled look, he examines The Stump and scratches his head. Looks toward the audience, pauses, and looks at The Stump a second time. BALDMAN looks at the audience again, and then at HAYWIRE. He walks past HAYWIRE and stands between him and the edge of the stage, examining the rope. HAYWIRE freezes. BALDMAN looks directly at HAYWIRE and then looks towards NUTJOB who’s concealed within the left wing.)
DOGMAN
(The khaki coloured “dog” with preposterously big, floppy brown ears and a massive, fake black nose crosses from the right wing to join BALDMAN and HAYWIRE at stage left. They
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