Month: September 2026

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The wolf snaps. Once.

« Don’t invade my personal space! »

« I can help. Where does it hurt? »

He was told to stop thinking, but NutJob cannot stop thinking. Even though he tried, it’s impossible to shut out all thoughts from his mind.

Lots of thoughts, “this is a wild animal. You leave it alone. Everybody learns in school not to interfere with the natural order of things. For better or for worse, mother nature plays her hand. Sure, pick up a fledgling bird which may have fallen from the nest, and place it to one side out of harm’s way, but nothing more. Don’t get involved. But there was nothing in that lesson about helping a wolf that’s fallen off a cliff! Or handling a situation where your demi-psychic girlfriend is actually chatting with the wolf!”

« Show me what’s wrong. I’ll send my man to go and fetch more help. »

KristalClear shuffles forward some more, now sitting five metres away from the wolf. NutJob can’t cope, and he moves forward, wanting to protect her.

The wolf snaps. Twice.

« It’s OK. You’re safe with us. »

She brings NutJob to her side, puts one arm around him, and they both edge forward a tiny bit more. It looks like three people sitting around a table in a tea shop. But there’s no table. And there’s no tea. And there’s no shop. They’re all sitting on the narrow ledge of an escarpment in the middle of nowhere, and one of them is a wolf!

“You’re the brainy one,” she says, “you figure out how we’re going to move an injured wolf, a large blanket, some ropes, a long pole, whatever you need. You design it as you walk back to the village. I’m staying here. Fetch Constable Burgess. Come back here as soon as you can.”

“I can’t leave you here alone,” protests NutJob, “not with a snappy wolf”.

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before. Not only is this a chance of a lifetime, this one seems to be less of a threat, and if she understands things correctly, this one said that it can’t move.

The wolf moves.

Rising onto its forelegs, it tries to edge forward, moves a mere ten centimetres, whelps, and lies down again.

KristalClear sits on the ground. The wolf is about ten metres in front of her. NutJob is about two metres behind her. He decides to sit down too. The threat model has eased. All three of them can sense an uneasy truce.

« What happened? »

« I was up there. Now I’m down here. »

« Uh huh? Tell me more. »

« My hind legs hurt. I can’t move … I can move, but that just makes it worse. I want to go home.  »

« Where’s home? »

« I don’t know. I’m looking for a new home. »

« Looking for a new home? »

« A new home. I’m at that age where you leave the pack, and strike out on your own. I can’t go back. »

KristalClear shuffles forward one metre. NutJob is horrified. He’s not on the wavelength and he has no idea what’s going on. All he can see is his girlfriend moving towards a ferocious wild animal. He’s not able to speak at all, but she detects a new thought pattern … NutJob’s thought pattern!

This is a new experience! The second new experience in the space of two minutes! An added complication just when she doesn’t need it.

Without taking her eyes off the wolf she quietly says, “Dave, stop thinking! I can’t handle two inputs right now! We’re all safe. Nothing bad is going to happen. I’m going to help.”

The wolf is in tune with that as well. He’s never communicated with a human before, but he likes the idea of “help” without knowing how they could possibly help! KristalClear shuffles forward one more metre.

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stop. What he can’t work out is why they’re stopping, and what’s caused the mood to swing from pleasure to drama.

Something unfamiliar is happening.

« I can smell fear. »

“Did you say that?”

“Say what?”

“What you just said.”

“I didn’t say anything. All I heard was you saying ‘did you say that.’”

“I can smell fear.”

« I can smell fear too. »

“Did you say that? ‘I can smell fear too.’”

“I can too, but I didn’t say anything.”

« I just want to go home. »

“Dave! Stop being such a big baby!”

“I didn’t say anything! What’s going on?”

« But I can’t. I can’t move. »

Then it clicked. KristalClear turns to NutJob “shh, I’m on the wavelength, a different wavelength, I’ve not felt this before. It’s like I’m talking with Tolstoy, but this is not a dog!”

The injured wolf emits a whelp not a bark. NutJob and KristalClear both see it, and at the same time the wolf sees them. Immediately it growls. An audible, distressing growl, but not excessively loud, not the sort of menacing “prepare to die” growl that might be expected from a wolf.

NutJob doesn’t know the difference though, a growl is a growl, and he is petrified, absolutely rooted to the spot. He can’t even turn and run despite the fact that his brain is telling him to. It’s saying to him, “run, save yourself,” but he doesn’t, because standing between him and the wolf is KristalClear. He can’t abandon her.

He’s also thinking, “and she called me Dave, these days she hardly ever calls me Dave!”

The adrenalin surge has hit KristalClear as well. She’s suppressing the urge to turn and flee, because she senses a “need”, although she’s never communicated with a wolf

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“I don’t want to be walking directly towards the sun. Especially on that narrow rock strewn track. Way too cluttered for my liking!”

“Something tells me we should go east though. I want to see what’s over there.”

The trail to the left which would have taken them north then west is exposed and is currently bathed in bright sunshine. It can offer them some shade if they are wise enough to skirt the edge of the forest.

It’s not clear exactly what lies on the route going east. It’s obviously a track, albeit a narrow one, and it’s probably used by wild boar, or goats, or even wolves.

“Come on scaredy cat!”

NutJob doesn’t need a lot of persuasion. Didn’t Chaucer say let the lady be in charge of her own dominion? So did Burgess!

Clearly this is her dominion anyway. The great outdoors! Not on horseback this time, but nonetheless KristalClear is as excited as a little child who has just been given a new party dress!

NutJob would prefer to be indoors, working at his modelling table, rather than let this relaxed, romantic walk in the countryside transform into an expedition into the unknown.

Allowing her to lead the way, well he had no choice really, she was off, bouncy and excited, just like FullyCharged, NutJob cautiously picks his way over the jagged stones which awkwardly poke up in front of him. Rocks rather than stones, and too many of them for his liking, he squeezes past some of the thorn laden bushes, and wonders again if there really is a concealed drop further over to the right, a corresponding part of the massive wall of stone on his left.

“Dash! Why are you so slow? Isn’t this place magnificent?”

Further down the path her tone changes. Without being too loud, she suddenly and firmly delivers a dramatic “stop!” NutJob doesn’t need to be told twice, he’s perfectly happy to

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summer. It tantalises the nostrils as KristalClear and NutJob walk hand in hand to the summit.

The canopy of verdant green gives way at the top to a more barren landscape. One hour into their gentle trek the sun is now bright, and they can see clearly into the distance. Expansive open fells, with wiry tufts of Mat Grass and some Bell Heather punctuate an expansive network of baked earth and rock. It looks like hard work, even for a seasoned hiker.

They pause to admire the small, odd, final tree, for its endurance if little else. Presumably stunted and sculpted by years of relentless wind.

Defiantly surviving in the thin soil, a Scots Pine with a peculiar twisted trunk stands alone. The stark, skeletal arrangements of a few gnarly, sinuous branches present a layer of shallow, flattened crowns. The paucity of malachite pine needles contrasts with the dominant mix of terracotta colours. It’s the unbending tufts of green that give this solitary tree an intriguing, resilient beauty.

The last of the regular forest is 200 metres down the hill behind them, and it arcs away to their left, first leading north and then curving a little west. Ahead, the barren fell looks uninviting, and the only other obvious passage looks like a challenge too.

It’s a downward path that goes east towards the dale, with a sheer rock face rising to the left. On the right there’s an unrelenting line of Gorse in full bloom, intruding onto the path and blocking the view further to the right. There’s no indication of what lies beyond the bushes.

Another sheer drop wonders NutJob?

“Which way shall we go?” asks KristalClear.

“North, around the forest,” replies NutJob, “if we go onto the fells we’ll be parched and soon run out of water. We want a pleasant walk don’t we?”

“East to the dale?”

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“That’s where CrankyHandle comes in! After the Leven Reservoir and the dam were built, the traffic on the River Crake and the Greenodd Canal halved. He still has a job though, but he earns more from his contract with the Constabulary, than he does from the waterways.”

“Two jobs?” asks KristalClear, “what’s the second one?”

“Pony and trap. He carries us around, he works the ground as far as Windemere. The chaps in Newby Bridge and Ambleside do the rest of the lake.”

“And Bob’s studying for his Sergeant exams,” says Sophie, “so he always has plenty of things to do.”

“And if I make the grade I’ll get my stripes and I’ll end up back in Lancaster for a bit, working at HQ. Before they give me my next proper posting.”

“So you can’t join us for a Sunday walk?”

Bob and Sophie both shake their heads.

“Studying today. Sunday morning is always best, before somebody like Mrs Carmichael asks me to arrest her husband for growing wonky carrots again.”

“You have at least three hours,” says Sophie, “that’s enough time to do Colston Hill if you want to, the view from the top is glorious.”

Smiling at Sophie, KristalClear asks, “can you not join us?”

“I can’t do the hills. I’m expecting! And you two will probably have more fun without us anyway!”

—o—

            With nothing planned until lunchtime, KristalClear and NutJob are in the mood to go exploring.

A forest of mature Ash trees, dotted with an occasional charismatic Oak, casts a cool shadow over the rugged pathway leading to the top of Colston Hill. It’s still a cool 25° in the early morning, but it’ll be 35° by mid afternoon.

Robust shrubs border the track, Hawthorn and Elder by the look of them, and they release some delightful scents of early

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Chapter 32
On the Wolf Wavelength

Over breakfast Bob and Sophie Burgess are chatting about the local area, the farms, the smallholdings, and the people who run them. NutJob is trying to eat toast as politely as he can without getting crumbs everywhere. KristalClear is providing a summary of the itinerary for today and tomorrow.

“Well, if there’s nothing on the agenda until lunchtime,” says Sophie, “you two should get out and explore the village, walk along the river, and visit the surrounding countryside.”

Constable Burgess says, “it’s completely different to the city. I lived in Lancaster until I joined the police. Did my training there, and then I was posted to Ulverston proper.”

“Bob and I met in town, and then after we married we were offered a police house here. As long as he accepted that this sort of rural job is quite different.”

“No crime!” says Burgess. “well nothing worth talking about, Mrs Higgin’s once managed to lose her dog. Mr Fotheringham swore blind that his neighbour’s goat had been eating the socks off his washing line. And CrankyHandle reported that someone’s been stealing his shadow. Turns out he was just out a bit earlier in the day for his morning walk.”

“The peace and quiet here in Penny Bridge is its most bothersome feature!” says Sophie.

“Do we still need village Bobbies then?” asks NutJob.

“My job is mainly community relations,” says Burgess, “stopping crime before it happens. I do lots of school visits, lots of villages, that’s why I’m based out here. Education.”

“And,” says KristalClear, “that’s why CandiCrush said we should come to your place in Penny Bridge. You know everybody!”

“More importantly,” he says, “we have a nice, big, old fashioned police house, with extra room. Hence we often have visitors. Official, unofficial, and demi-official. Like you!”

“But you don’t have a horse?” asks KristalClear.

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two of you would be here. Will you two need one room tonight, or two?”

The strategy and the question were planned in advance, and beautifully executed by Burgess in a careful and completely casual manner. NutJob hadn’t even thought about it, just assuming that there would be two rooms. But now that he’s been asked, he starts thinking quickly and quietly to himself “wow, that’s a good question! Do I really have a choice? When is the right answer going to be one? Not now, that’s for sure!”

In an equally casual voice, NutJob calmly says, “two, definitely two.”

“Good answer!” says Burgess, grateful that CandiCrush predicted that correctly! A delicate matter has been resolved exactly when, where and how they had wanted.

In a fatherly tone, yet still calm, warm and friendly, Burgess adds, “one day NutJob, maybe sooner, maybe later, the answer might be one. But it’s her choice, not yours. You wait. It doesn’t matter how long you wait, you just wait. She’ll be happy to give you the hint. It might never happen I simply don’t know. Right now Kristal probably doesn’t know either. But when she does know, she’ll let you know. Be patient!”

“And don’t tell her that we had this conversation!”

In the ladies’ room EarlyBird explains exactly what Burgess is doing. KristalClear is crystal clear on everybody’s good intentions. She doesn’t doubt for a moment that CandiCrush is behind it.

Before the trip, KristalClear had been thinking deep down that one day this subject is going to come up anyway. Perhaps there could have been a better way for her to handle it herself? Or perhaps this helping hand was best? In any case, it’s sorted now. Not only that, she has both sides of the story, and NutJob doesn’t.

“This is why ladies always go to the toilet in twos,” says EarlyBird, “and don’t tell him that we had this conversation!”

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“You’ll see The Warren tomorrow,” says EarlyBird, “and it’s not exactly surrounded by wolves. We hardly ever see one.”

“Where are you staying tonight?” asks HopAlong.

“The Garrison has fixed up everything,” replies KristalClear, “we’re spending two nights with Constable Burgess at his house in Penny Bridge, and then we’re back in Ulverston at the barracks for one night, before we take the ferry home.”

“Oh, and Dave,” says EarlyBird with a smile, “in her letter, Kristal’s already told me how you got your nickname, NutJob. You’re into machinery and gadgets, and anything that moves! You’re working with Faraday on labour saving devices!”

HopAlong’s eyes light up, “NutJob? You make things? Labour saving devices? You couldn’t design me some self milking goats could you?”

Walking smartly through town, Bob Burgess is hoping to join the meeting before it’s all over. He enters the café just in time to see them all sitting at the table with lots of empty tea cups. Introductions are made, and pleasantries exchanged.

“Need the little boy’s room,” says HopAlong, “all that tea you see,” and he slowly makes his way to the back of the café.

“I can’t stay long, but I wanted to let you know that the Garrison is laying on a carriage for us at 19:00,” says Burgess, “you two have another hour in town still, and I’ll be back here in time for the journey to Penny Bridge.”

Unnoticed by the two youngsters Burgess looks EarlyBird in the eye, and quickly winks. She takes the hint.

“Kristal, let me show you where the ladies’ room is.”

Now alone with NutJob, Burgess keeps his cheerful chat going.

“She’s a nice girl isn’t she?”

“Very nice!”

“You’re lucky to find somebody like that. It was going to be only her originally. But Commander Crush mentioned that

 

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“But he’s not sure about horses,” says EarlyBird. She knows the back story.

HopAlong tells everybody that wolves can sometimes be seen roaming the fells and the dales just beyond the towns. That much is true. What isn’t true is how he injured his leg. Apparently, one day he was trying to keep a wolf away from the hen house, and got into a frantic fight, kicking and punching. He was bitten by the wolf before it ran off.

He made EarlyBird promise to keep things secret. Nobody else knows that HopAlong was actually kicked in the leg by a horse, and he’s too embarrassed to admit it.

EarlyBird was the only other person there so she looked after him. Living many kilometres out of town, they didn’t have easy access to a doctor, and even if they did, they didn’t have the money to pay for treatment and after care. Over time, the broken bone set by itself, a little crooked.

Co-incidentally, the hen house does sometimes receive unwelcome attention from wolves. When he was a much younger man HopAlong once killed a wolf. He’s still pretty good at archery, but only uses it to defend his farm The Warren from predators.

The couple made a good deal of money from that one dead wolf, every bit of the carcass was valuable, with the wolfskin being the most prized asset. He says he’d like to bag another one if he could, but mobility problems have stopped him from becoming a hunter.

Nowadays one of the redundant llama compounds contains the hen houses, and the other one has the goats. They’re both completely fenced in, with wire netting all round, and overhead. They’re impenetrable by wolves. The chickens and goats are completely safe, and they have a vast amount of space!

“I can’t imagine what it’d be like to live on a farm surrounded by wolves,” says NutJob, “I’ve lived in the city all my life.”

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