Chapter 26 The Almost True True Story of The Canneries216


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“I can carry him.”

(Pausing, and looking at the audience.)

Do you know the best way to carry a cat … when you don’t have a cat basket?

AUDIENCE
(Staring. Uncertain how to respond.)

BENET
(Holding out his right arm, in a straight line, parallel with the ground. Fist clenched, but not punching anything.)
SimpleSimon says you have to carry it by its tail!

“Oh you brute,” said NottaPenny, “ how could you say such a thing?”

HAYLEY
(Glaring at FULLYCHARGED and whispering a bit too loud.)
That’s exactly the sort of thing you would do! How horrid!

FULLYCHARGED
(Whispering a bit too loud.)
What’s the problem?

HAYLEY
(Still glaring, and still whispering a bit too loud.)
You are so naïve! You don’t know anything about cats!

AUNTSYLVIE
(Using a clearly audible whisper.)
I’m going to separate you two if you misbehave one more time.


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