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quayside OpenMike has heard the hammer whack the gong, and he encourages the crowd to start the countdown.
“Five, four, three, two, one.”
The shipborne cannon fires.
One man and his dog (one man with a fake bald head and a stupid, old fashioned, sleeveless, green sweater, alongside his khaki coloured “dog” with preposterously big, floppy brown ears and a massive, fake black nose) furiously paddle their bathtub “Fowl Vengeance” into an early lead.
It’s clear that the Gatchaman Super Hero lookalikes, paddling “The Jubjub Tub” are in second place, followed closely by two puffins doing their best to make “The Puffin” bathtub move as fast as its namesake The Puffin ferry.
This is the craziest sight anyone has ever seen in Lancaster harbour! The crowd on the quayside are cheering so loudly that nobody can hear what OpenMike is saying. It’s the same aboard The Vorpal Sword with everybody, MaxChaos included, cheering on their favourites.
By the halfway stage the two Vikings in “The Do Drop Inn” do drop in to the sea, and the suspicion is that the sharks in “The Hammerhead” may have had something to do with that.
The Super Heroes’ “Jubjub Tub” is putting in a heroic effort, but it seems to be taking on water. They’ve slowed down, and that’s allowed the “The Puffin” to overtake them. Amazingly the bananas piloting “Despicable Kevin” are gaining on the two leading vessels.
The puffins are now puffing and panting as their muscles tire, and their bathtub is definitely slowing down. “Fowl Vengeance” still looks like it’s going to take first place, and at this hotly contested stage of the race there now appears to be only two teams in contention. The banana pair, and one man and his “dog”.
MaxChaos and OpenMike are valiantly trying to turn up the volume, but they can’t be heard above the crowds. The onlookers are shouting at the tops of their voices, and furiously
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