Chapter 2
Charming or Tedious
The guard at the piquet post salutes Commander Crush as she and KristalClear arrive, and with a minimum of fuss they are both waved through. Turning left onto one of the dusty, earthen tracks they continue, walking in the direction of the Innovation Lab.
KristalClear has some questions.
“Have you ever met a pirate?”
“When your job’s patrolling the Irish Sea,” says CandiCrush, “you’re certain to meet them at some stage.”
“What are they actually like?”
“Tedious, to use the expression favoured by Oscar Wilde!”
“Who’s Oscar Wilde?”
“He was a nineteenth century dandy. He started out as an author and became an actor. He’s reputed to have said, it is absurd to divide people into good and bad, people are either charming or tedious.”
“You can’t have tedious pirates!” says KristalClear, “they’re vicious aren’t they, warlike thugs? Surely they’re wicked not tedious?”
“I’ve met quite a few,” replies CandiCrush, “though only briefly. The average pirate is just a pawn in a bigger game. Generally, they’re trying to earn a living and support a family. The ones we really need to sort out are the warlords deep inside Worringfolk. They control everything, and they won’t go to sea. They don’t want to take unnecessary risks.”
“You take risks though! How much time do you spend at sea?”
“I thought you knew? When I’m on maritime duty you grab every opportunity you can to take Handsome out for a ride,” says CandiCrush, “I know what’s going on, even when I’m not here!”
“You said I could? I remember the first time I met you. When I was eight years old you taught me to ride. You brought Handsome to the Pony Club in Williamson Park, and you said