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Chapter 35
MarshMallow Time

Confused that they were suddenly thrown into the forefront of a potential negotiation, NutJob and MaxChaos have lots of questions for the girls. They hadn’t been mentally prepared for an intricate discussion with smelly, dishevelled, overgrown teddy bears.

As they ride back to Newsholme, they both hang back, riding side by side, and to get some privacy, they put a little distance between them and the girls.

“We looked like novices,” says NutJob, “we have to be better prepared tomorrow.”

“We are novices,” replies MaxChaos, “when was the last time you bought a wolf?”

“And why are we doing this? All on behalf of an elderly couple running a near empty farm in Ulverston?”

“Seemed like a good idea at the time I suppose!”

MaxChaos pauses, and in reflective mood, demonstrates that he can listen, he can learn, and that he is becoming more mature.

“What did BarmyWaffle say? Or was it HayWire? Both of them said it I think. Sometimes you just need to do new stuff, throw new ideas together, see where it takes you, and then work out what you’re going to do with it.”

“We’d better work it out pronto though,” says NutJob, “I’m not going to be caught off guard again tomorrow!”

Up ahead, somewhat more practical discussions are underway.

“We’ll have to take them much further than Lancaster, won’t we?” says KristalClear. “Ulverston’s a long way.”

“The Garrison will sort it out,” replies CandiCrush, “we have a week to plan something .”

“Does the Garrison have any horses with experience of transporting ferocious live animals?”

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They stare at the two youngsters. MaxChaos is twenty, NutJob is sixteen. Erik and OtherErik could be in their thirties, or forties, or fifties, it’s hard to tell! Probably younger rather than older, but they look old before their time.

OtherErik looks at NutJob and says, “you gotta shrewd girl there … an’ she’s pretty!”

MaxChaos quickly steps forward and says, “and she’s spoken for.”

He raises himself to his full height and broadens his chest, clearly demonstrating his superior size. Everybody can see his arm and shoulder muscles rippling.

“And Commander Crush is married,” he says, forestalling any further discussion on the subject, “so you’re staring down a dead end there!”

Erik strokes his beard, “you lot come back ‘ere tomorruh. We’ll ‘ave a fink about what we want, and you ‘ave a fink about what you can offer.”

CandiCrush looks to KristalClear for a signal. Throughout, KristalClear has detected lots of uneasy, positive vibes. Definitely uneasy, and certainly on the better side of indifferent. Raising her eyebrows almost imperceptibly, and mustering an extremely faint smile, it’s enough for CandiCrush to get the message.

She puts ten Sovereigns down on the table. MaxChaos stares. For him that’s more than a month’s wages. CandiCrush, with the sort of blink that says, “I’m surprising even myself right now,” offers a calm, polite smile.

Looking directly at Erik, she narrows her eyes a little, and narrows her mouth, and she says purposefully, “no obligation, this is yours, no strings attached, we’ll be back tomorrow.”

A ten Sovereign inducement should be more than enough to let them know that the Wolfies are serious, and it’ll ensure that the trappers also turn up tomorrow.

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“We ‘ave a male an’ a female down at the knackers yard already,” says Erik, “what’re they wurf to you?”

“We want two adolescent females. Alive.”

“Uh huh,” says OtherErik, cleverly hiding his bewilderment behind all his facial hair, “alive, eh?”

“That’ll cost you!” says Erik, “an’ it’ll take time.”

CandiCrush says, “Wolfland’s not short of money. What’s a fair price for a fair trade? And how much time are we talking about?”

Erik says, “One thousand YorkCrowns! But you ain’t got Crowns ‘ave you? In your sovereigns? We’d need a couple of ‘undred of ‘em. But they’re no good to us. We can use maybe five, or even ten, but nobody round ‘ere wants two ‘undred Wolfie Sovereigns.”

“We’d need somefing uvver dan sovereigns,” says OtherErik, “an’ it might take us a few days to sort out traps. We trap live deer you know, we kill wolves. We gotta fix up somefing dat can ‘old a live wolf … a nangry, live wolf!”

“Seven days,” says Erik, “you can have two adolescent wolves in seven days. Females if yer lucky. Normally we don’t care. For us a dead wolf is a dead wolf. We’ll get yuh live ones though.”

OtherErik cuts in, “you want two live females? You gotta male? A live male you mean? Yer gonna breed wolves?”

“Yer mad!” says Erik, “And yer gonna put us out of business! We don’t make much from the farmers who ‘ire us, we make us money from sellin’ dead wolves.”

“You’ll flood the market with your farmed wolf stuff, and then we’re done for.”

“That’s gotta be wurf four ‘undred sovereigns. But not Wolfland Sovereigns. What else yuh got?”

“We’ve got MaxChaos …”

“We don’t need any chaos fank you. We’ve gotta nuff our own!”

“This is Max, and this is Dave,” says KristalClear, “they can work on a trade for trade agreement.”

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generally his BO is less noticeable. Although apart from him and BarmyWaffle, nobody understands why.

In comparison to the trappers, MaxChaos looks completely normal. In comparison to the MaxChaos of one year ago, this MaxChaos is completely normal!

When the trappers speak, it’s impossible to avoid their bad breath. Everything about them suggests, “don’t mess with me”! At a distance they could even be mistaken for actual wolves, rather than trappers. Maybe that’s the point.

—o—

            “Two wolves you say? Why do you want two?”

KristalClear is trying to tune in to their thoughts. Since first detecting NutJob’s signal a few days ago, KristalClear has been trying hard to figure out how the human wavelength works. It’s still very early days. Everything is a mush of feelings. Nothing is crystal clear. Perhaps, it’s just womanly intuition, but the atmosphere is not as tense as she had feared.

KristalClear has always quietly relished the idea that one day she might actually learn how to read humans. And one day, even meet somebody who can do it two ways.

“We want two adolescent females,” she says again, without answering Erik’s question.

“Uh huh. Why adolescent? Why female?”

Concentrating, more on searching the wavelengths than on her speaking skills, she perhaps unwisely says, “we already have a male.”

Erik and OtherErik are hard work, but she knows that they want to trade. This is a good sign. She covertly gives her team mates a thumbs up. The meeting is already a lot better than it first appeared. It’s no longer a “yes no” conversation, it’s going to be a “how much” conversation.

Of course Erik and OtherErik don’t know that she’s a demi-psychic.

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proposition can Wolfies offer? Will they take Sovereigns? I know that reticently, some Pennite innkeepers and shopkeepers will take Wolfland Sovereigns. However, I know that the sheep farmers and livestock traders are suspicious of anything foreign. The Pennites use Crowns, the YorkCrown. And it’s worth a lot less than a Sovereign. To them one Crown is a large amount of money. Day to day commerce is done with pennies, and they are so low in value that we don’t keep YorkPennies in stock in Wolfland. I have a few Crowns. But because there aren’t a lot of coins in circulation it makes it difficult for us to amass their currency.”

—o—

            To a Wolfie, the trappers Erik and OtherErik look identical. Maybe a Pennite can tell them apart. Clearly they cannot be twins, nor even brothers as they have the same name. However, all the Pennites tend to look the same, perhaps their lifestyles do this to them. Every trapper looks exactly like every other trapper. Every farmer like every other farmer. Every innkeeper like every other innkeeper!

Apart from the bit obscured by their bushy beards Erik and OtherErik have dark suntanned skin which is cracked with the texture of a dry river bed. Their deep set, brown eyes peer out beneath voluminous eye brows, and the eyes have a piercing quality which says, “nothing escapes my attention”. Sticky out ears, larger than average, emerge clearly from long straggly, matted hair, and indicate that their hearing is acutely tuned to pick up even minor sounds.

Wearing old, rough, grubby wolfskins, they look a bigger mess than Benet, and their body odour is worse than MaxChaos has ever been! On both counts, that’s a truly remarkable achievement.

Although these days MaxChaos does seem to be a bit more presentable. His clothes are cleaner, his conduct is gentler, and

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Chapter 34
Sovereigns and Crowns

In Wolfland waking up early in the morning in order to be somewhere important, is completely normal. This particular group of Wolfies is no exception. Everyone has arrived at the Garrison in good time for the expedition.

“Out of uniform?” asks KristalClear, “I thought you said this was a work trip?”

“It is,” says CandiCrush, “but I mustn’t scare off our new contacts!”

“It looks like we all have a uniform now,” says NutJob, “everybody wearing white T shirts and jeans!”

The youngsters don’t remember having ever seen CandiCrush wearing a white T shirt and jeans. It makes her look remarkably young, just the same as the rest of them!

She’s also looking especially cheerful this morning, because she likes an intellectual challenge. A pleasant ride on a horse, a taxing test of her diplomatic skills, some time away from her desk job. And a group of young friends to help her feel youthful again.

“The horses have been saddled up already,” she says, “as usual I’m taking Handsome. NutJob, you’ll be taking Romeo. And Max, Falcon is taking you for a ride. He’s a gelding, he’s good with novices.”

“A gelding?” asks MaxChaos.

“Kristal will explain it to you while you’re walking over to the stables. Kristal, you’re taking Marconi. Go and do your saddling parade now. Boys, these two marines will show you how to do a saddling parade, checking your horse and your equipment. The horse should stand square, alert, and free from signs of fatigue or illness, and so on, and so on.”

With the checks completed, CandiCrush finishes the briefing.

“OK, let me tell you what I know about the Pennites. This is not going to be an easy negotiation. What sort of value

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things done, creating focus, purpose, and peace, even where there is none.

“Think about it,” says CandiCrush, “we have no diplomatic accords with the Pennites, and we both have a southern border with Worringfolk. We’ve been waiting for just the right opportunity, work on trade relations first, and then on wider cooperation.”

“And think about it,” says MaxChaos, “a trade agreement where we buy from them, is a lot more attractive than one where we’re selling. I do learn things you know! You get to hear a lot when you’re a docker.”

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Addressing HayWire, KristalClear says, “float the idea at work now, prime them about a later trip.”

“I’ll try,” he says, “see what my GuildMaster says! I definitely want easier access to wolf bone. Hard, resilient, and with just a touch of flexibility. Like carbon fibre, but nobody can make carbon fibre anymore.”

“We have lots of carbon,” says NutJob, “why can’t we make carbon fibre?”

“Polyacrylonitrile,” says HayWire.

“Dare I ask? What’s polly acrillo night rile?”

“It’s derived from oil. And we have no oil.”

“Nuff said,” responds NutJob, “you’re definitely a bigger geek than me!”

“If you’re coming with us,” says KristalClear, “can we use Garrison horses?”

“We’ll have full Garrison support. And we’ll be staying at the eastern outpost in Newsholme for two nights. It’s been ages since I last went there.”

Somewhat surprised NutJob wants to know why the Garrison would get involved in a business venture.

“Could you explain why?”

“The lab wants wolf bone, and the ElderWolf wants to explore building more alliances. The Pennites have been on the radar for some time.”

Before anybody changes their minds, CandiCrush states, “Kristal, NutJob, Max, you are to be up early tomorrow, meet at the Garrison at 08:00. We’ll be leaving at 09:00.”

“That’s a bit sudden?” says HayWire.

“When would now be a good time?” asks CandiCrush, “military ethos, get things done. I have the authority to requisition resources, and the ElderWolf will be happy to learn about this later. I’ll have a memo on her desk tomorrow, after we leave, and a full detailed report one day after we return.”

The youngsters all know that the Garrison means business, not commercial business, but business in the sense of getting

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EarlyBird also knows that the lady is in charge of her own dominion. HopAlong will fall into line, no matter what he says right now.

“Put all the livestock in one compound,” says EarlyBird, “and put SnapDragon in the other.”

—o—

            “A wolf farm? What a crazy idea,” says MaxChaos, “if it works, great, and if it doesn’t work, so what? They’ll still have one valuable wolf!”

HayWire seems to be even more enthusiastic about the idea of a wolf farm than anybody else. To be more precise, enthusiastic about wolf bone rather than a wolf farm.

“And you’re suggesting we should help them get two more wolves?” asks MaxChaos.

“Crazy!” says NutJob, “but, yes!”

“It means going to visit the Pennites,” says KristalClear, “the nearest ones are in Skipton.”

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?” asks HayWire.

“Well I know how to ride a horse, but I don’t often have the chance” says MaxChaos, “and it’ll be my first ever trip to Skipton.”

“Me too … if I could go,” says HayWire, “ but I can’t just have time off at the drop of a hat. Harrisons is a big business and there are rules to follow. It’ll take a week or two to even get some leave agreed.”

“It’s a three day trip,” says CandiCrush, “but you know we don’t have any diplomatic accords with the Pennites. That means I’m coming with you.”

“You are?” asks KristalClear.

“I wish I could!” says HayWire.

“There’ll be a second trip,” says CandiCrush, “because I’m sure we’ll have to go back again, to collect.”

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will be minor compared to the value of a fully grown, mature wolf.”

“Anyway, one wolf?” HopAlong retorts. “Kill it, sell it, one wolf is not going to get us very far. We need something long term!”

Burgess chips in, “you’ll need two wolves then! A wolf farm.”

Stunned, HopAlong exclaims, “you want me to get another one?”

“No,” says KristalClear, “not another one, another two!”

“Yes, farm them,” says NutJob, “we rarely see wolf products in Lancaster. The Innovation Lab is always keen to get more wolf bone. And beyond Wolfland, there are territories that simply can’t afford wolfskin. They’ve never even seen it. If you can farm wolves, you can undercut the Kielders.”

“Who are the Kielders?” asks CrankyHandle.

“They’re Pennites,” says NutJob, “right up at the top of the Pennines in the Kielder Forest. They’re the best trappers around and they have plenty of wolves. Your regular Pennite is a sheep farmer.”

“They have some trappers in other places too, scattered from Otterburn to Skipton, but there aren’t many. The whole territory’s inhospitable, which is why it’s sparsely populated. The farmers expect to lose some sheep to wolves. And when a trapper does bag a wolf it’s sent to the markets in York or Scarborough, they rarely trade with us.”

The conversation has set EarlyBird’s mind racing. She now wants two adolescent females. If the wolf packs are currently shedding the older adolescents, then now is the time to trap them without waiting one more year. Intuitively she feels that the numbers will work out, and some quick mental arithmetic tells her that the financial rewards will follow, and then they’ll snowball.

“Who else around here has the right facilities,” she says, “and the urge to start farming wolves? Who else has a captive wolf?”

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