Chapter 30 Chocolate Chip Cookies266


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MaxChaos takes NutJob to one side, “where were you at break time? HayWire wanted to talk to you! I wanted to talk to you!”

“I was stage crew, I had to sort out a couple of things in the prop room. And I wanted to talk to Kristal but she was stuck in the ladies’ dressing room for literally hours!”

Kayt and Conning have already dragged KristalClear back to the dressing room so that they can finish their chat. MaxChaos and HayWire have now succeeded in cornering NutJob so that they can actually start their chat. NutJob is unsure why suddenly he has become so popular.

“OK,  come on then, to my office!”

MaxChaos and HayWire are both puzzled, thinking “office?”

“Do make yourself comfortable on my couch,” says NutJob, pointing to the bland tables in the prop room, “now, what seems to be the trouble?”

Failing to spot the humour MaxChaos and HayWire select a table to sit on, mirroring what NutJob is doing.

“Kayt’s very pretty,” says MaxChaos.

Strikingly, by HayWire’s standards, he opens up with a clear and commanding voice, “Conning’s pretty!”

“Conning’s pretty narked with me!” says MaxChaos.

“What?” asks HayWire.

“Nothing! Just pretend I said nothing.”

“Yes, they are attractive,” says NutJob, “but it’s not all about beauty, I think there needs to be something more than just beauty.”

MaxChaos adds, “that’s what we wanted to ask you about, how did you and Kristal connect?”

“Ooh, that’s a tough one! I think you’d be better off asking her!”

Perplexed, yet still maintaining a calm voice MaxChaos says, “what?”

“I’m serious!” says NutJob.

A brief hush descends as they wait for him to say more.


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(Ingeniously combining a love song and a chocolate recipe THE SPACE GIRLS mimic the style of a pop group from 400 years ago, they deliver ten stanzas with a catchy upbeat tune. When the formal choreographed routine ends, the tempo of the music and the dance change a little. In a seemingly chaotic fashion, KAYT and CONNING start to gleefully hop, skip and jump around. HAYLEY and FULLYCHARGED are mimicking them with a seated version of a hopping, skipping, jumping dance!)

Bring the curtain down
(We) got choc’late all around

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Bring the curtain down
(We) got choc’late all around

(The curtain closes as THE SPACE GIRLS continue bouncing about the stage using all the available space. The Talent Show ends with much cheer and lots of boys shouting “encore”. ANGRYBARD is trying his best to be the loudest. But his voice hasn’t fully broken yet, and he feels a little troubled by the occasional high pitched squeak interfering with his largely successful attempts at a more mature, masculine delivery.)

While the judges retire to the Nelson Room to deliberate, the performers, the stage crew, and many of the audience slowly drift to the back of the hall again, grabbing a last drink and finishing off the few cakes and cookies that remain.

“Did you see that?” asks MaxChaos.

“ Yes! I was with Kristal in the left wing. We were watching it together and we could see you two in the right wing. You were almost on the stage!”


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and yelling “Yay” and “Hey”. They are clad in shockingly tight, black mini skirts and skimpy tops. KAYT’s is a lurid lime green, and CONNING’s is a powerful bright yellow.)

(Offstage left, HAYWIRE and MAXCHAOS are stunned. They can’t take their eyes off them. Weren’t they wearing jeans and T shirts a few moments ago? In the audience many of the teenagers are cheering, and a few of the boys let fly with enthusiastic wolf whistles.)

(Intentionally, MISSFORTUNE pauses and then plays three notes, B, B, and a low C, followed by a clear rest. ANGRYBARD decides to leave his seat in the orchestra pit and moves to the front row where he has a better view of the stage in general, and of KAYT in particular.)

(The performers make eye contact with MISSFORTUNE who then starts playing. THE SPACE GIRLS launch into their new song. Whilst dancing, singing, and alternating the style between the verses and the chorus maintaining smiles and a happy outlook, THE SPACE GIRLS variously glare, point, and pout.)

Chocolate Chip Cookie
(Pop – sung to the tune of Wannabe)
(The dance routine has a well structured, non adventurous, choreography.)

You’re a Chocolate Chip Cookie Boy
My Choc Chip Cookie Boy …
I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna
I’m gonna really really check you out …

Forty grams of chocolate
Fifty grams of flour …


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Chapter 30
Chocolate Chip Cookies

Karen rushes into the dressing room, “Girls! It’s the final Act! You’re on! MissFortune is sitting at the piano waiting for you!”

Rhetorically KristalClear asks, “how long have we been talking?”

“Far too long!” says Karen.

—o—

The Talent Contest – Continued

SCENE 12
(OPENMIKE steps on to the apron. MISSFORTUNE is ready at the piano in the orchestra pit.)

OPENMIKE
(Theatrically.)
You’ll recognise our final act this evening. The popular Manx girls Kayt and Conning!

They can sing, they can dance, and they are both karate experts! So don’t invade their personal space!

(Dramatically.)
The Space Girls!

THE SPACE GIRLS
(The curtain opens revealing an empty stage.)

(MISSFORTUNE starts with an innocuous soft melody. Then, one from the right, and one from the left, KAYT and CONNING gleefully hop, skip and jump their way to centre stage, cheering


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“I like deep, intellectual stuff. We’re not going to be pretty young things all our lives!”

Explaining that NutJob is a lucid communicator, KristalClear retells his belief that “happiness” is fleeting, simply an emotion in the “here and now” and that it fades as circumstances change. In contrast, “meaning” is about contribution, connection, and continuity over time. It involves being a “giver.” People leading meaningful lives derive fulfilment from giving to others, nurturing relationships, and serving causes larger than themselves, even when those commitments bring stress, sacrifice, or anxiety.

“He gives me all these great insights,” she says, “we both communicate, we talk about communication and about commitment.”

“Commitment?” asks Conning.

“A bond, not just a romance. He says that commitment is doing what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it.”

“That’s powerful. Where did he get that from?”

“His parents probably. His mum I think, you know she runs the commercial docks, she’s the harbourmaster. He has vivid, descriptive ways of articulating what he wants to say. For example … meaning, rather than happiness, forms the foundation of a deeply satisfying and resilient life.”

“He doesn’t have a brother does he?” asks Conning, knowing full well that he doesn’t.

Kayt has calmed down, she might not be vocal in this particular chat, but she’s taking it all in, thinking that there are probably some extraordinary and valuable ideas locked inside NutJob’s head … and that KristalClear seems to have the key.

“And let me get one thing straight,” says KristalClear, “this does not mean, automatically, that I’m settling down with him … this is just where things stand right now. You asked me why and I’m telling you why. We need a lot of time together before either of us says we’re ready for a real love life relationship let alone a life time relationship.”


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Conning tries to set a friendlier tone, “Kayt! Chill! This isn’t the Spanish Inquisition, I genuinely wanted to find out what kindled the spark … Kristal, I’m only one step behind you.”

KristalClear’s smile seems to say, “really?”

Conning elaborates, “OK, two or three steps maybe! I wouldn’t mind having a boyfriend though, some genuine affection!”

“We agreed Conning!” says Kayt, “Space Girls first! No boys until after we finish school … at the earliest!”

Conning asks, “so, how did you know NutJob was the one?”

“And you’re always with him now,” says Kayt, “we had to bring you in here so that we can get some proper girl chat!”

“You really want to know? This is not going to be as exciting as you might imagine.”

“We really want to know,” says Conning.

“It’s more than just looks you know,” says KristalClear, “yes, he has stunning eyes, and he still has a cute baby face, but that’s wearing off. He’s growing up. I’m growing up. It’s like we’re not really teenagers anymore. He has some fascinating ideas and he shares it all with me.”

KristalClear begins to explain that they talk to each other. A lot. About many things, about happiness, about the meaning of life, about how to chat openly, about what’s permitted, and what’s off limits, setting some boundaries for their conversations.

“He’s very open,” she says, “you don’t get to see that publicly, but he’s very open with me, and he’s incredibly bright and sensitive with it. He’s a goldmine of rich and valuable information.”

“Like what?” asks Conning.

“Happiness. Meaning. Philosophy. Even today, we were talking about his philosophy on the difference between happiness and meaning.”

“That sounds very deep and intellectual to me,” retorts Kayt.


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“Passion! Electricity! Immersion! Total focus, almost trance like focus!”

“Yes, you can do that, I know! It was obvious earlier. But you’ve heard me practise, and you know that I’m a mediocre drummer. Does everybody have to be able to do it the same way as you?”

“Kayt and Conning have passion. Kayt’s a brilliant singer! And a brilliant dancer! I’ve watched her.”

With half an idea about where the discussion is going, NutJob gently prompts for more.

“Kayt?”

“Yes, why are there no girls in my year like Kayt?”

“You’re thirteen aren’t you? Maybe you’re maturing faster than the others! Everybody in your year is twelve or thirteen?”

AngryBard nods, “uh huh.”

“You sound like me when I was fifteen. You’re going to be fine. It takes a little time, and it needs a bit of patience.”

“Does Kayt have a boyfriend?”

“I don’t think she does,” says NutJob, “but I don’t think she’s looking. We can talk more about this later. The interval’s nearly over, aren’t you needed back in the orchestra for the second half?

—o—

            In the ladies’ dressing room Kayt, whilst not intending to cause any deliberate friction, starts off a little too aggressively. She often does that with love life conversations. All Conning wanted to do was ask calmly about recent developments. The problem these days is that it’s hard to get KristalClear on her own for a chat without NutJob being within earshot. A backstage dressing room solves that problem.

“How did you do it? Why did you do it?” demands Kayt, “what is it with you and NutJob? He’s not normal!”


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They pick up their drinks, no biscuits nor cakes, and they disappear in the direction of the changing rooms.

AngryBard and HayWire watch the girls depart, and NutJob notices that AngryBard’s eyes are following Kayt carefully. Kayt’s rear end to be precise! Amused by the thirteen year old’s interest in one of the sixteen year old girls NutJob looks AngryBard in the eye, raises his eyebrows knowingly, then looks in the direction of Kayt. And once more looks directly at AngryBard.

AngryBard recognises exactly what all the non verbal communication means, and asks, “Dave, can I chat with you for a mo?”

“OK, come on then! We’ll get a bit more privacy if we use the prop room.”

HayWire is left there at the refreshments table, standing among a group of random people, but feeling quite alone.

Sitting on one of the tables in the prop room, AngryBard is no longer certain that he actually wants to ask any questions. NutJob’s sure that he does, but thinks he’s probably unsure how to phrase things. In a sympathetic tone he kicks off the discussion.

“Everybody thinks you joined the orchestra, because it’s full of girls. We assumed that you were keen on one of them. What’s up?”

“They’re all boring!”

“Boring? You mean, you find them all boring? Maybe they’re all OK? I don’t know them, but maybe they’re all completely normal girls?”

AngryBard shrugs, and says nothing.

“You’re the exceptional one,” says NutJob, “genuine talent. Have you ever thought about it that way?”

“No,” he says, “but what I mean is that none of them has any enthusiasm. They all play music, but they don’t feel music.”

“I see … what does feel music mean to you?”


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books, FullyCharged adopts a Kung Fu fighting pose and screams, “HAI YAH!”

“No! No! No!” yells Hayley, glaring at FullyCharged, “you are so naïve! You don’t know anything about karate! It’s all about mental discipline and focus!”

In an instant, the cupcake escapade has been forgotten as everybody focusses on Hayley.

“You have to follow the correct etiquette and start by saying ‘Osu’. And you bow like this.” Hayley demonstrates a perfect, text book version of the hand gestures and bow.

“It conveys patience,” she says, “determination, appreciation, respect and perseverance!”

Smirking whilst FullyCharged is being berated by Hayley, ShortFuse and MegaBite decide to slip away quietly lest they encounter a real introduction to karate at the hands of an eight year old girl. The apple and the cupcake remain on the table.

The White Belt RoughDi initially shares a grateful smile with Yellow Belt Hayley. However, the older Kohai is faced with a younger, more experienced Senpai, and remembers what Charlton-sensei had said: age does not outrank grade in a karate dojo.

RoughDi quickly switches to a serious face and bows purposefully, saying “Osu.”

—o—

            Keen to get himself a chocolate chip cookie before FullyCharged eats them all AngryBard arrives at the back of the hall at the same time as Kayt and Conning. All they want are two cups of coffee. Discreetly AngryBard tries to study Kayt, while HayWire openly starts gawping at Conning.

“Don’t invade my personal space!” says Conning, “grab those drinks Kayt, we have to dash.”

Scanning the group Conning adds, “we’re on soon, we need to do our make up!  Kristal, come and help us!”


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