Novels by Scott Rochester
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“You need to have a shower more often!”
“You mean fish? The smell? I’ve not been near a fishing boat for a few days now.”
“It’s not fish!”
At that precise moment, the circuits in his brain make the connection.
“Oh for the life of me! What did Conning say? She said I smelt of fish!”
“Fish?”
“She didn’t actually mean fish … Barmy, do you have a moment? Can I ask you something?”
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BarmyWaffle hands him the crossbow, “weapon clear.”
The look on his face demands an answer.
MaxChaos responds, “seen clear.”
“I’ve never used a crossbow. I wouldn’t know the difference between a normal one and an experimental one. What’s so special about this one?”
“Well first off, we’ll get Commander Crush to authorise some training for you. On a standard crossbow of course. Then we can discuss how to improve it. Then it’ll all make more sense to you.”
“In any case,” says BarmyWaffle, as he points to the flat plates connecting the limbs to the riser, “these are larger cantilever springs than normal. Usually they’re made of metal. Metal is good, but brass is too flexible and iron is too stiff. We’re looking for the Goldilocks’ solution. Something that’s just right. This prototype has a bone composite, we’re trying to make it easier to use, so that we can improve reloading.”
MaxChaos understands the pointing, and most of the parts, but he doesn’t understand all the words. He looks confused.
“Don’t worry about the terminology … don’t worry about the words … you’ll get used to it as you spend more time with us. Of course, I’m assuming that you’re going to be here every Wednesday afternoon for side project time?”
Finally, MaxChaos and BarmyWaffle have clicked.
The dock worker and the scientist have something in common. They’re both interested in crossbows, even if it’s for different reasons.
Forty years separate them, so BarmyWaffle is old enough to be his grandfather! BarmyWaffle also feels the need to say something else, and he feels that he’s in a position to say it. Taking a fatherly tone he changes the subject.
“Max, do you live in a shared house? All men?”
“Yeah I do. How did you know?”
“And the kitchen’s always a mess? And the bathroom’s always a mess? And you tend to avoid them?”
“Yeah, whatcha getting at?”
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“Just brainstorming new ideas. Like you said, I’m not sure where it might take us.”
“Mr Waffle?” says MaxChaos.
“Call me Barmy, not Mr Waffle! My name’s Emmett Williams, but just call me Barmy, I’m used to it, and it makes life easier for everyone.”
“Yes, Barmy, can I take a closer look at that crossbow?”
“Sure. But first you have to understand the etiquette, the ‘Safe Handling Rules’. When I pass a weapon to you, and later when you pass it back to me there’s a procedure. I’m not a marine, but we’ve all had this drummed into us. I point it at the ground and I pass it holding the stock. You keep it pointing at the ground and you take hold of it by the stock.”
“The general weapon safety rules are …”
“Tom’s an ex marine. Tom, what does the instructor always say?”
TomTom does his best imitation of a stern instructor, “you do not pass a weapon unless it’s proven clear, action at rest, arrow track checked. You show it’s clear, you say it’s clear, you get confirmation it’s clear. You follow the rules, or you’re out of the Garrison.”
MaxChaos nods.
BarmyWaffle picks up the crossbow, and shows it to MaxChaos, “this action is at rest, this arrow track is clear, now I say ‘weapon clear’ and you can take hold of the stock. I won’t release my grip until I know that you’re holding it firmly and I’ve heard you say ‘seen clear’, understood?”
“Got it. One hundred percent.”
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“Max is a character! And he works hard. He can lift more, and work longer than many of the dock workers. I guess that means he has muscles. I saw him single handedly lift a fully grown deer once, and sling it over his shoulders to carry it home.”
“And he smells,” says CandiCrush, “and he’s not bright. What’s he doing here? The Inventors Club is for brainstorming new ideas!”
“Maybe he’s an idea generator? Maybe I am too, why am I included?” KristalClear pauses for a moment. “Didn’t Constable Walker suggest that you include Max? They get along together.”
“Yes, I know. I wonder why?”
“Good and evil! They share the same ethos. I’m told that Max would make a good police officer. His heart is in the right place. Except he has no qualifications.”
“And he has no sense of smell?”
“Maybe you have an extra sensitive sense of smell?” says KristalClear, “we all notice him, but it’s not overwhelming.”
“It is overwhelming! At least I won’t have to spend Wednesdays in the lab with him. I feel sorry for the rest of you!”
—o—
“HayWire, what’s up?” asks BarmyWaffle.
“Oh, sorry! It’s just something I do to test the nature of materials. I place them between my teeth, I don’t bite them, I just touch them lightly to sense what they’re made of. At first, my GuildMaster was confused as well. I thought it was normal, but I’ve learnt that I’m the odd one out.”
“And what does the test tell you?”
“This wolf bone is definitely stronger than the llama bone, but it’s going to be easier to carve. You could also work with thinner slices of it.”
“How might that help us?”
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But he still can’t think of anything useful to say.
NutJob asks, “how does it work?”
“Take a cathode and an anode, place them in the water, in a suitable vessel of course, and pass an electric current through it. It gives off hydrogen, you just need to capture it. Do it wrong and the hydrogen disappears into the atmosphere. Do it wrong the other way and it all goes bang! It’s a tricky business, there are a dozen factors which you have to get just right.”
“Sorry to interrupt”, says TomTom, “this is all very exciting, but why would the Garrison want hydrogen?”
“We might be setting up a new Inventors Club,” replies BarmyWaffle, “sometimes you just need to brainstorm for no reason, to throw lots of new ideas together, and then work out what you’re actually going to build with them.”
Finally MaxChaos has a valid remark, “I’d like to build booby traps, something to trap deer, something that’s easier than a bow and arrow.”
“You’re a brilliant archer,” says NutJob, “you’re one of the best hunters we have.”
“Hunting requires a lot of patience, and archery needs a lot of concentration. Booby traps might be easier. I also want to catch fish. Freshwater trout. They’re tasty. I’m no good with a fishing rod though, and you can’t catch fish with a bow and arrow!”
—o—
Outside, CandiCrush and KristalClear are indeed talking about horses!
“Did you notice that smell?” asks CandiCrush, “like Handsome when he’s been galloping. A hot, smelly, sweaty horse! But I’ve not smelt anything quite like that before.”
“That’s Max! Perhaps we’ve all got used to him!”
“No? Max?” says a shocked CandiCrush, “did you see his arms? His muscles? He’s big and strong, how come he has a physique like that? He’s not like the rest of you. Does that make him sweat more?”
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“I have no idea what you two are talking about,” says NutJob, “and I thought I knew a thing or two about maths.”
CandiCrush interjects again, “this is all beyond me! Kristal, let’s step outside for a moment, I need some fresh air. Leave the boys to their geeky chat.”
NutJob wants to understand what HayWire is talking about. MaxChaos just wants to feel that he can contribute something. BarmyWaffle and HayWire are leading all the chat.
TomTom and JerryMac are fascinated, because the youngsters they normally see are the ones who join the Garrison as ordinary marines. They didn’t know that KristalClear had such an interesting bunch of friends!
“Anyway,” asks BarmyWaffle, “what did you want the hydrogen for?”
“I had this fanciful idea that I might build a fuel cell instead of a battery, and we could make electric watches again!”
“Hydrogen? In watches? You’d be handling acid to make the hydrogen and then you’d need to compress it to store it. In any case hydrogen fuel cells are usually used to recharge small batteries, and it’s the battery that delivers a stable current to the motor. Fuel cells don’t deliver consistent electricity on their own. But that’s not important right now, what I’m interested in is the electricity. The electricity has to come first!”
MaxChaos is wondering if he should step outside for some fresh air too. He’s feeling lost, but assuming that the girls are now discussing horses, he’s happier to stick around with the boys, even if he doesn’t understand what they’re saying.
Knowing something about electricity, NutJob is feeling that he can now join in a bit more. He repeats the earlier comment as a question, “the electricity has to come first?”
“Yes,” says BarmyWaffle, “electrolysis of water releases the hydrogen from the H2O. Better than water, use a mild acid. Or use sea water! That’s an acid, it’s weak though, but we have plenty of it!”
MaxChaos is thinking, “sea water? I know about sea water, that’s where you find fish!”
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“Did this shark brush its teeth properly?” asks CandiCrush, “there’s an odd smell of fish!”
“Chemicals probably!” replies BarmyWaffle, “we have lots of them. Come and have a look.”
Everybody moves further down, towards the cabinets at one end of the lab.
BarmyWaffle has some questions, “HayWire, Max, you were making hydrogen weren’t you? What did you use?”
MaxChaos knows that a goat’s bladder was involved, but leaves it to HayWire to explain the rest.
“Iron shavings added to hydrochloric acid. Drain cleaner actually! I don’t have access to anything serious where I work.”
“We do. We have hydrochloric acid, and sulphuric acid too. Though we use them mainly for cleaning things, removing impurities, that sort of thing. We don’t use any of it as a component in a process. Fluid dynamics is a challenging subject. I know it, but Tom and Jerry don’t. Anyway, we don’t need complexity.”
HayWire joins in, “fluid dynamics is fine, I don’t know why everybody gets so het up about it, even my GuildMaster! I know it’s difficult for some people, but I don’t understand why!”
BarmyWaffle is surprised, “where did you learn fluid dynamics? They don’t teach it in schools. They did that at universities in the old days.”
CandiCrush interrupts, “Barmy, turn on the fan in the fume cupboard, all these smells are getting to me.”
Excited, HayWire wants to launch into a detailed discussion, “Mr Whitton, my maths teacher! He spent extra time with me outside regular lessons, taught me calculus, and then I started reading more. I asked him about Navier-Stokes equations. He only half knew it, so we studied it together. Best teacher I ever had!”
“You understand non-linear partial differential equations?”
“Theoretically, yes, never used them in practice!”
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“It’s all about flexibility of use,” says CandiCrush, “bows and arrows, and crossbows are the standard now, because they’re easier to make, easier to use, and easier to replace.”
“What we do in the Innovation Lab,” says BarmyWaffle, “is try to make existing stuff better. We’d like to invent something new and revolutionary too. We’ve been trying. And that’s why we’ve invited you lot over. Fresh, creative, young minds! You might spot something that we’ve overlooked.”
Unlike the others, MaxChaos seems unable to focus on one thing in particular. His eyes are constantly wandering trying to take it all in. CandiCrush is watching him. Like a little boy in a toy shop, with a sparkle in his eye, he’s looking everywhere at everything. However, there is something quietly magnetic about him.
“Take a look at this,” says CandiCrush, taking MaxChaos by the arm and leading him to JerryMac’s workbench. As her right hand takes hold of his left bicep she notices that this man has some seriously good muscles.
HayWire follows them to the bench. KristalClear notices and guides NutJob towards JerryMac.
CandiCrush says, “bone seems to be the new wonder material. Fish, chicken, goat. There’s as much of that as we’d like. There are others which are less common. Barmy …”
“Sometimes we can get shark,” says BarmyWaffle, “and recently we were given some llama bone. HopAlong used to keep llamas, but one of them died. He’s retiring now anyway, so I don’t think we’ll see much of this again. It has a unique flexibility and strength.”
“This is wolf bone,” says JerryMac, “we don’t get much of this either. Incredibly strong and long lasting.”
HayWire picks up some wolf bone.
“That’s a femur, the tibias are longer and we’ve used them up already. We can get long bones from deer too, but they’re not quite the same. Wolf is best. It’s certainly stronger than the bone we get from farmed animals.”
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“What’s your name?”
“Mickey.”
“Jenifer.”
Jenifer Silverman places two of her fingers on her own lips, kisses them, and places those two fingers against his lips. MickeyWarr is left speechless.
—o—
TomTom and JerryMac are arranging a few materials on the workbench so that BarmyWaffle can show the group the types of things that they work with. A variety of soft and hard wood, an assortment of metals, and a collection of bone samples.
“If it’s commercially available, we can get it,” he says, “though things like diamond cutters are costly, so we still have to exercise some care with how much we spend. We’d rather have natural stuff, and stuff that we can find locally.”
“Why doesn’t the Garrison have old fashioned guns?” asks HayWire, “surely there are books with detailed plans?”
“Well, there are still a few books like that. Though fewer than we might expect. Everything moved from paper to the internet a long time ago! And obviously there are no computers any more. Nobody can make semi-conductors. Lots of the valuable books in London were lost in The Decimation.”
TomTom chips in, “the big problem with guns is smelting iron ore. Without coal, and with fewer furnaces, they run less often and at lower temperatures. Charcoal doesn’t work as well.”
JerryMac says, “we could make shotguns and muskets if we wanted to, it’s been done, but they’re not practical for Garrison use. When resources are available, we prefer to use them for cannons and cannon balls. If we lose one ship, we lose a lot of valuable hardware like that.”
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the cook, DeepSigh made it earlier, I’m sorry it’s cold now, I thought you wouldn’t mind some cold chicken stew!”
“How? What? Yes, chicken? I’ve not had chicken since I arrived here! How did you do this?”
“Have you ever seen a Meirionydd Sovereign? You can achieve a lot with just one Meirionydd Sovereign!”
“Why did you come here? OK, I can guess why you came here!”
He’s interrupted before he has a chance to say anything else. Slender has thought carefully about the next step, but she doesn’t have an actual escape plan. Nor has she worked out how to escape without having a devastating impact on her father.
“We have to find a way to get some more time and space. Then we have to invent a robust escape plan. Can you cook?”
“Cook?”
“You can cook! I don’t care if you can or you can’t. You tell them that you’re a good cook. DeepSigh needs help, she needs a good cook, and I need you on the Bandersnatch. Not in here! And definitely not on the Blackbird!”
“I can cook. But I’ve got another 24 hours in solitary.”
She stares at his face, it’s the first time she’s had a chance to see it properly, really close up. It’s not only dirty, but there are bags under his eyes, his hair is a mess, and he hasn’t shaved for three days.
But it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t conceal his beauty. His intense chestnut eyes give him a confident, serious appearance. A well-defined nose, perfectly proportioned for his face, is Slender’s idea of a strong, classic, masculine look. And his lips are full and natural, soft but serious. He’s not smiling right now, but when he does, she knows that it lights up his whole face.
She can’t tune in. Everything on the wavelength is happening so quickly. There’s a tingling and a fuzziness all at the same time. She so wants to kiss him. Right here, right now, but he’s dirty.
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