Month: April 2026

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softly on the lips. KristalClear had taken him by surprise. She had been in complete control of the encounter from start to finish.

Watching her disappear further down Willowdene Road, and then off into a smaller side street, NutJob smiles to himself and slowly makes his way home. He might see her again on Saturday, but he knows that the stables will be busy all day. He might see her again on Sunday. Who knows?

He will definitely see her again on Monday morning when school starts.

Once home, NutJob takes the Saturday edition of The Lancastrian from his knapsack and places it on the kitchen table. One of the perks of working for Franklin and Faraday is that NutJob, and his parents, always have a free copy of the paper, and it’s one day earlier than everybody else.

After registration on Monday morning, the first lesson is Civics. It’s a comfortable way to start any day, especially a Monday, and it’s especially good when it’s Mr Rafone. He’s one of those teachers that everyone gets along with. He’s easy to talk to, and he enthuses students in a way that ensures that the class stays focussed with a lively, yet pragmatic discussion of the topic of the day.

When he entered the classroom this morning Mr Rafone could already hear Kayt addressing one of the boys with her well rehearsed catchphrase, “don’t invade my personal space”. He didn’t see what happened, but the back row boys were giggling and pointing.

Giving them a look which says “subdue your rebellious tendencies”, Mr Rafone briefly scans the room. As usual Kayt is sitting with the girl power group. They’re a lively lot, good natured and always geared up for a vocal debate.

They have their own provocative, cheeky style, and at least they manage to combine ​that with some valuable and helpful contributions.

On the other side of the room from the back row boys is the spot where NutJob normally sits. Where is he today?

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“They said they won’t know until nearer the time. They have several full timers already.”

In what seems like a very short time, they reach the junction where their routes home diverge.

KristalClear says, “let me tell you something.” She places her right hand on his left shoulder and leans forward, as if to whisper in his right ear. He feels her soft, warm breath on the side of his face, and wonders what’s going on. She says nothing. Gives him a soft, light peck on the cheek as if to offer a qualified “thank you”. The sort of unspoken “thank you” that says “thanks for getting the newspaper printed on time” and “thanks for being the fascinating sort of NutJob that your nickname suggests” and “thanks, you are special”.

She’s thrilled that she’s just pulled off her master stroke. Her head is buzzing.

Both of them, simultaneously, experience a dopamine hit.

With his right hand NutJob reaches for her left hand, wanting to firmly take hold of it, although he’s trembling slightly. The tip of one finger manages to make contact with the back of her hand. He realises that his finger nail is digging into her skin, and that he’s fumbling! Both on target and off target at the same time!

KristalClear doesn’t mind, she barely notices. She’s already more than halfway through her quickly planned routine, and she’s aiming to complete all the moves perfectly.

Letting go of his shoulder, fleetingly making direct eye contact, she smiles sweetly, and turns away. Then skips joyfully down the road, heading towards her house. NutJob, slightly stunned, just stands there not knowing what to do. Elated and dejected in equal measure.

He just watches her enthusiastically hop, skip and jump along the street. She had clearly decided all along that she wouldn’t turn her head to look back.

NutJob was elated that he’d secured that first kiss. And dejected that he hadn’t been ready for it, and he hadn’t been able to really take hold of her hand. He thought he’d missed an ideal opportunity to cautiously show his affection, and kiss her

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Chapter 13
Work or Die

“How can there be another printer jam?” asks Faraday rhetorically, “this is the fourth one in a row! And we’ve done all the obvious checks!”

“It’s hotter than usual today,” says NutJob, “maybe it’s the paper, not the machine. Is the paper too dry?”

“OK,” says Faraday, “let’s look at that before we try adjusting the callipers again.”

Faraday takes his chemistry set from the cabinet. They check the water hardness and the PH value. They’re both fine, so it can’t be the water. Their attention returns to the sheet callipers and the smoothers. Rather than fiddle with them in place again, they decide to remove the whole assembly, clean it up, and refit it.

It does the trick! And just in time too, the full print run is completed by 19:00 in time for the pickers and packers to prepare the bundles before the couriers arrive. With an eye on the clock, NutJob is keen to clean the press, and put everything away so that he can finish on time at 21:00.

“Must dash,” he says, “I’m hoping to catch up with Kristal on the way home!”

“Sure,” says Faraday, “and when you’re in tomorrow, we’re going to have a proper look at building our own press.”

KristalClear is already at the crossroads by the time NutJob arrives. She’s been waiting for him, and she’s keen to have their regular ten minute chat on the way home. Every Friday she has the same repetitive pattern at work, and every Friday NutJob has something new and different to talk about.

Today, he’s very pleased with the chemistry he’s learned, and he barely pauses to let her say anything!

“You’re obviously going to be an engineer when you leave school,” she says, “I hope The Lancastrian can take you on full time.”

“And the Garrison?” asks NutJob, “what have they said about work next year?”

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“You have to go fishing in the right pond.”

“But we’re not in charge of pond building!”

In a low, gentle voice KristalClear says “you need to tell all of this to the Provost! If your Manx grandad ever comes to work here, he could improve our education system in Wolfland!”

Kayt’s confused, and zooms in on KristalClear, “that’s a bit deep isn’t it? When did you get into the business of restructuring government?”

To get their attention again Conning purposefully, and audibly, lays the palm of her right hand on top of the back of her left hand, and says wistfully, “where can CandiCrush find a man? Where can I find a man? Where can anybody find a man?”

“Traveller! What reward are you seeking?”

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“It comes to some of us at about sixteen he said, maybe a bit earlier, maybe a bit later. You don’t want to wait until you’re sixty to start being nice to people. He said, if you’re not there yet, young Conning, I just want to suggest a direction that you might choose to follow!”

“That’s some lecture!” says Kayt.

“Not really a lecture,” says Conning, “but perhaps it is. It’s a thought provoking story! Grandad said it’s his favourite story, passed down through the generations.”

Thankful that she managed to convey absolutely everything without too much hesitation, Conning sits down and the tears finally start to roll. She takes a handkerchief from her handbag, and starts dabbing her face. KristalClear and Kayt both dash forward to put their arms around her.

There’s gentle sobbing for a minute or two, and continued silence for another minute or two as the girls, individually, have dozens of thoughts running through their heads all vying for attention, all at the same time, in a haphazard jumble of conflicting priorities.

And nobody wants to be the first to speak.

Their mental capacity can barely cope.

What does Conning want? What does a good apple look like? Isn’t appearance important? Who is she thinking about?

Grandad? Some boy at school? Some girl at school? An older man in Lancaster? Somebody back home on Mannin?

It couldn’t be KristalClear could it? Or NutJob? Or the imaginary, ideal man for CandiCrush?

And, why? Why is all this thinking so stressful?

Conning is the first to speak.

Regaining her composure, she lifts her head, and tries to smile at her friends. Her long, medium ash brown hair is a bit of a tangled mess and her cheeks are flushed and rosy. She calmly closes with three more remarks, delivered in a resolute, determined, strong voice, as if to mimic the style of her grandfather.

“Where can people find responsible, compassionate, and understanding men?”

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What is wisdom,
If not love and support?
Traveller!
What reward are you seeking?

Half way through the recital a noticeable quiver developed in Conning’s voice. Working without a written text, and simultaneously translating from Manx into English was a near insurmountable struggle which has left her emotionally drained. However, Conning had been determined to deliver the entire poem without interruption, because it’s a metaphor for society, for friends, and for families. For life, the universe, and everything.

She surprised herself that she managed to keep going to the end. It was the fascination on her friends’ faces that kept her going. And although this is the end of the poem, it’s not yet the end of the fable.

“What is wisdom?” asks Conning.

Instantly KristalClear responds, “love and support, according to the fable!”

“Grandad told me the fable on my sixteenth birthday, and he asked me, how old do you need to be, to be wise?”

“Six? Sixteen? Sixty?”

The girls look at each other. Kayt is Manx and even she hasn’t heard this before. Conning is still emotional, trying to hold back some tears, and she’s determined to deliver this life lesson in full.

“How old do you need to be to give love and support?”

“Both love and support?”

“Grandad says that even some six year olds can do both, both love and support”

“And some six year olds can’t.”

“Some sixteen year olds still can’t do either of them!”

“It’s about support. Sensible, reliable, rational support. A three year old can be supportive and helpful. But not across the board. You have to be older than three, have a bit more knowledge, and a lot more maturity.”

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Along Langlish isthmus,
Atop Sniaull mountain,
None can be found,
Though venture the countryside,
And stumble upon one, you may.

A hardy fellow,
The wild apple tree,
Resolute, determined, strong,
As a general rule!

Though some may be weak,
Unloved,
Barely alive.

No matter which,
Study the environment,
The influences,
Taste the fruit,
Tart, not distasteful,

Sharp, not injurious,
Life sustaining indeed.

But is it rewarding?
Does it satisfy the soul?

What of your future apples?
Their character?
Their traits?
Suffer hardships?
Grow strong?
Grow weak?
Be cultured?
Be cursed?

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Conning is better connected, works part time with her parents’ shipbroking business, and at the moment she’s trying harder than Kayt to find a first proper gig for the duo.

“It’s not full of men,” says KristalClear, “according to CandiCrush it has a near perfect fifty fifty split, it’s just that she’s never met anybody suitable.”

Softening the tone of her voice she says, “tell me about grandad’s apples!”

Conning tries to remember the precise Manx fable. And tries hard to recite it all in English.

The Good Apples

Where can you find,
An apple tree?
In an orchard,
Where you sowed the seeds.
The best seeds,
From the best apples.

Selecting the best soil,
Watering the seeds,
Caring for the saplings,
Carefully cultivating them,
Responsibly and compassionately,
Keeping the pests at bay.

Using your wits to give them,
The best start in life,
Protecting them,
Until fully they grow,
And blossom,
And deliver their first fruits.

Done properly,
It’s a joy.

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Chapter 12
The Good Apples

“Where do you find good men?” asks KristalClear.

“Where do you find good apples?” replies Conning.

“Not apples! Men!”

“Where do you find good apples is something my grandad says,” explains Conning, “he’s a good man! Every year we go back to Mannin to visit family, and grandad has some brilliant ways of explaining things.”

Kayt joins in, “but I thought you’d found a good man? Haven’t you told NutJob yet? It’s obvious to everyone. When are you two going to start going out together?”

“Not me!” says KristalClear, “I’m talking about CandiCrush, she’s 33 years old and she’s still single. But what’s this thing with the apples?”

Before Conning can answer, Kayt butts in again.

“She’s in the Garisson,” says Kayt bluntly, “it’s full of men!”

Kayt likes to dominate love life conversations like this one. If she’s given half a chance, Kayt dominates all conversations, but especially ones about dreamy relationships.

Kayt and Conning are the best of friends. They’re Manx descendants and they’ve made a point of keeping up with their own native language. They’re also a singing partnership known as The Space Girls, because each of them repeatedly uses the catch phrase “don’t invade my personal space”.

Especially where boys are involved!

They claim that they don’t want to seek out romance just yet, but they’re excited to learn all they can from KristalClear. If any of the girls was going to find a proper, stable boyfriend, they wouldn’t have imagined that KristalClear would be first! She’s normal, unassuming, polite, and intelligent.

How she clicked with NutJob they just don’t know!

And anyway, they think NutJob’s not quite normal.

In The Space Girls it’s quietly acknowledged that Kayt is the better singer and dancer and that Conning is the brainy one.

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are hard to change. And you have only one chance to make a first impression.”

CandiCrush sighs, “it’s all about education!”

“Oh my word! You’re so wise! Why haven’t you found a man?”

In a half hearted shrug CandiCrush raises both her hands a little.

Then she raises her eyebrows, looks KristalClear directly in the eye, and says nothing. She’s trying to deliver the message, “the man conversation has ended,” and she feels that the most diplomatic way to do that is to lower her hands now, just sit still, do nothing, and say nothing.

Astonished, that at this moment she apparently has a better prospect of romance than CandiCrush, KristalClear wants to work out where people can find responsible, compassionate, and understanding men!

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